Feeling down, like the darkest sheep of the herd; an outcast - a disgrace. Those days wherein you just wanted to cruise along where the narrow hollow streets of the city leads you. Forget everything that compels you to think back and gravitate to a life that’s stagnant or uninspired. Just salting the wound, not whining nor grieving, only stale emotion clouding my thoughts.
Slowly, surely, getting the niche back. Success is perseverance. Better not make youth as an excuse to delay hard work; but to galvanize the teenage liveliness to impinge and be of constant reminder that age is just a number. Start now before regretting and thinking what could’ve been.
This fear of failure has put me in the chokehold of success, hence, in a plateau of despondency easily making me a dilapidated potential-laden teenager. So many missed opportunities that could’ve easily put me in the platform of abounding respect from significant people to irrelevant individuals.
Funny how people, especially the one’s that you’d consider as confidants, can also be deemed as the people who’ll drag you down. Often times it baffles me how they can be bitter towards the success of others when one doesn’t even think too highly of themselves and overcome with fear. I’d rather be with an overly mundane friend than with those I’ve known (or so I thought) over the years but underhandedly accuses you with such malice and when confrontation comes, it’ll be as perplexing as how they’ll be completely mum about their disdain over me. Declutter - the remedy. Ignore the one’s that disregarded first. No sour grape here, but spending time with the wrong people is unacceptable - Need to fill one’s ego; No regrets, because the impending benefits will be sweet, so sweet that it overwhelms their palpable bitterness.
Closed my eyes as the chicken smothered in sauce, accompanied by rice, loiter in my mouth as the flavor lingers in my palate. Then for some odd reason, I felt the need to open them ending a few seconds in zen - a woman staring and walking towards me, probably thinking “What the …. is he doing?”. It’s the maid and her knack of abruptly showing up without notice catching me unaware of her presence - annoying.